I haven't ever shared some of my work before. Lately I've been feeling a little down so if you guys could leave me some feedback, constructive criticism and you're honest opinions I'd love it so much. Just don't be too harsh, I am a little delicate still. This is called the Girl In The Yellow Dress and it's a short flash fiction scene.
“Another day on the daily grind Jack?” asked the barmaid as she slid my double whiskey on the rocks down the b, it clinked together with the one I had just finished. I picked up the empty glass and slid it back down to her, although my force wasn’t as much as hers and so she had to walk down the bar to pick it up.
“Yeah,” my voice was a bit hoarse from the cold I was currently nursing but I wouldn’t tell anyone that, “Another day of utter rubbish too. Pretty sure I’m going to get fired soon.”
She caught my other glass in her hand and put some more ice in it. I was drinking these like they were water, my wife was going to kill me when I got home. I watched as she took the glass over to the Glenmorangie and out another double measure in the glass before bringing it over.
“I’m sure if this is your last one she won’t get too mad,” there was a sympathetic smile on her face as she walked away to serve another customer.
I now sat with two double measure whiskeys in front of me and a slight flush in my face. I knew the effects of the alcohol would take effect on me soon, it wouldn’t be long till I was slurring my words. My pitiful state was helping things either. Stress and a hell of a day at work had caused me to worry. Things had gone so terrible wrong and so many mistakes had been made that I was sure when I walked back into the office on Monday I would be fired. Although drowning my sorrows in whiskey wouldn’t help me – my wife would definitely make me sleep on the sofa tonight.
I picked up the glass with the half melted ice in and downed it in one. Looking down the bar at the barmaid but something else caught my eye entirely. At the far end near the door there was a woman. She wasn’t particularly eye catching but her red hair was familiar to me. I took a few more minutes to study the woman, she drank a simple drink of Malibu and Coke, she had a mustard yellow coat – which I also recognised – and she was alone. There didn’t seem to be anyone bothering her.
The realisation of who she was didn’t come to me until after I finished my second drink and called the barmaid back over.
“Betty, pour me one more before I go,” I called to her. In one swift movement another glass comes sliding down the bar and clinks with the glass in my hand. That sounds jostles a memory that I had hidden away and it replays in my mind.
It was last winter in early December. The rain was coming down so hard I thought we might have been getting another storm from the tail end of whichever hurricane was currently over the Caribbean Sea on its way over and I could barely see anything even with my lights on and my wipers going at full speed I was only getting glimpses on the road. I was travelling in my car below the speed limit just to make sure that no accidents would be caused but unfortunately I was the only one.
As I slowed down to turn a corner a lorry ploughed into the back of my car and I hit my head on my steering wheel as I came to an abrupt emergency stop. I had thought it was just a dream while I was blacked out as I don’t remember being taken from the car to the hospital, where I woke up, but I do remember this feeling where I wasn’t constricted by gravity and could flat around. I was watching myself with an old ex-girlfriend. We are arguing because I had just asked her for a break or rather I had attempted to end it without being cold a ruthless. I liked the girl I just didn’t love her. She was crying as I walked away but she screamed something at me. Looking back at her now I could lip read the words I didn’t hear before, “I’m pregnant!”
Everything then flashed before me as I am taken to a simple afternoon in a coffee shop with my wife. A girl walks in, coat and all, and orders a chai latte. I know because I got told off by my wife for staring – I hadn’t realised I was. She just seemed so familiar. I had originally thought it was a trick of the mind or my subconscious trying to tell me something but now I see it was a flash of memories I had suppressed in the hopes of never knowing the truth. Of course if I didn’t know the truth denying it wouldn’t be lying.
The next thing I knew I was in the hospital watching my wife cry beside me. I was in bad shape and the doctor was telling her that I would need a blood transfusion. However my blood was of a rare blood type which meant it needed to come from family. We didn’t have any children but they must have found a match otherwise I wouldn’t still be here today.
Snapping back to the bar I must have been staring at her again as Betty clicked her fingers in front of my face and they both giggled.
“You’re married remember?” said Betty as she took away my glass. I gave her a weak smile and nodded my head as I stood up from the bar. I swayed a little but I could walk home it wasn’t far. I waved my hand up in the air to say goodbye and walked out of the bar. My head hung low in shame as I staggered down the road leaving my daughter alone for the second time and returning to home my wife who would never know.